Last updated on 11/02/2010
When I taught third-graders, I was great at wait-time ~ that time that passed between my asking a thought-provoking question, and my student responding. Sometimes I’d wait 60 seconds or more. Because I fostered respect and patience in my classroom, my students were comfortable with wait-time. They (usually) used the time trying to come up with an answer, rather than snickering, yawning, or burping (more on third-graders in another post).
The ability to endure wait-time is an important life-skill. Waiting for an answer, a phone call, or a text can be frustrating when you’re trying to make plans for dinner. It can be heart-wrenching when you’re waiting for the results of a medical test, a much-needed job interview, or for a loved one to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel.
When we allow the wait-time to consume our thoughts, we can feel helpless and anxious. It becomes increasingly difficult to let go.
After we’ve said our prayers, taken a casserole to a friend in need, or cried until we can’t cry any more….then what?
We can baby-sit that hole in the pit of our gut while we wait for time to pass, or we can switch our thought-patterns by doing something constructive. Here are some suggestions…
1. Write a letter, a blog post, a grocery list, or a song. Focus on something other than the uncomfortable wait. If you don’t know where to begin, open google.docs. You’ll find a blank page waiting to be filled. Just start writing whatever comes to mind. The words don’t matter, the action does.
2. Go through your bookshelf and box up some books for a children’s hospital, nursing home, or treatment center. There are plenty of folks there enduring painful waits, as well. When I’m reluctant to get rid of something, I say to myself “I think I’ll let someone else use this for a while.” Let go of the physical, let go of the emotional.
3. Clean out your car. Say a quick prayer of gratitude, then put on some music and get busy. Use a soft paint brush to clean around the knobs, switches, and a/c vents. If you don’t own a car, clean your bike. Be proud when you’ve finished.
4. Walk an errand. Even though you usually drive to the drugstore, is it close-enough to walk? Maybe you’ll need to trek through an open field or along the roadside to get there. All the better if there’s no sidewalk. The new perspective will do you good.
5. Spend some time with a good book. Fix a cup of hot tea, and allow yourself to relax and enjoy, even if there are dirty dishes in the sink.
6. Clean out your junk drawer. Yes, we all have one….well everyone except Leo and Everett. Throw out the junk and treat yourself to a latte with the spare change you find.
If you’re in for a potentially long wait...
7. Head for the beach, the mountains, or the desert. Wonder at the age of the rock formations…virtually unchanged since before any human laid eyes on them. Be grateful for spiritual renewal as you come into authentic contact with the earth.
8. Renew a forgotten hobby. Many of us who aren’t very good waiters tend also to push our own interests aside. Pull out your scrapbooking goodies and lose yourself in some happy memories. An ongoing project is perfect for a potentially long wait. I’m inspired by Susan Loughrin’s mandala project.
9. Volunteer. Don’t spend too much time searching for your dream volunteer position…just dive in. Help out at the hospital gift shop, feed doggies at the rescue shelter, or make arrangements to read with a child each week at a nearby school. There are plenty of worthy causes out there.
Constructive waiting eases our pain. When I choose to spend my wait-time constructively I’m in much better shape to cope with the bad news, or to celebrate the good news, when the wait is over. I think you’ll find the same is true for you.
If you found something helpful in this article, please share it with a friend. Maybe it’s just what they’ve been waiting to hear.
Thanks, and take good care!
Waiting is a challenge for me. I tend to struggle against it for quite a while until I wear myself out and realize I’m wasting my moments on earth. You have great ideas here for helping others, clearing space, and creating something new.
Personally, I would have liked to have seen ‘eat a pound of high quality chocolate’ on this list, but that’s just me 🙂
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How to Turn Life’s Lemons Into Blog Post Lemonade
‘Wasting moments on earth’ is a great way to put it. A friend once told me that I could worry about anything for 5 minutes, and then I should drop it and move on to something more constructive. That has been good advice for me.
Much of the discomfort of waiting, is the worrying…so, 5 minutes, then you’re ready for the next good action.
The beauty is that it doesn’t have to be an earth-moving action, just an action that changes your train of thought to something more peaceful, productive, or centering.
Thanks, Jean….I did eat my fair share of Ghirardelli chocolate searching for just the right photo….it took hours!!
🙂 Jane
Jane recently posted..How to Reduce Anxiety During Times of Difficult Waiting
I’m like Jean. I don’t like to wait. I’ve got to resist the impulse to push people to go at my speed because everyone is different pace-wise. I like how you embraced wait time in your classroom. That was a great lesson for your kids and showed them a lot of respect. I shall look at waiting more like that, respecting other people’s pace.
Katie recently posted..Soul Searching- Week 6 of the 7-Week Life Cleanse
Waiting can be a challenge, at any level. I can’t say whether any of my students actually learned patience from me. I can say that being good at wait-time helped me to enjoy my students. There were times when I was able to maintain a sense of peace, rather than the impatience that often comes when teachers ask 8-year-olds to be quick on their feet…or in their seats.
Thank you for giving us tools for gathering our momentum, and allowing us to process that energy, deciding where our next step will land.
Take good care, Katie ~
Jane recently posted..How to Reduce Anxiety During Times of Difficult Waiting
Lovely piece…I totally agree. Actually, thinking right now that I have some time to “wait” before going to bed…and a drawing to color in:) will get to that just as soon as I send this comment to you, Jane.
…actually, just after I share this post with my twitter followers:)
Thank you so much for the mention. As I sit here, I am “waiting” to find the perfect piece of drift wood to house my chakra mandalas. Yes…waiting is difficult…but I know the results of the wait (and the action that fills the space) support my growth and fullfill my life.
Susan
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Susan…I’m great at filling my wait-time by creating lists of things to do. Writing this post reminds me to be more intentional with my time, and that the action is really more useful to me than creating more things to do. The list in this post is comprised of things I really have done recently. I’ve been in a little lull, and am reminded that I need to return to action.
I’m thinking about what form my mandalas will take, and now believe I should just get started, and not spend much more time thinking of form…the action is so powerful.
I’ve also been spending some time with Jamie Ridler’s work, and Saturday night I made a ‘Full Moon Dream Board,” which was wonderful, and filled that space so beautifully.
Thank you for writing, Susan, and for sharing your wonderful, peaceful work via your blog. Wish I had a piece of driftwood to send to you. Sounds like it might be time for you to treat yourself to a trip to a nearby river for nourishing time with water. My guess is you’ll find your driftwood there.
Take good care ~
Jane
Jane recently posted..How to Reduce Anxiety During Times of Difficult Waiting
Great suggestions! I’m rather Gemini about wait time. Sometimes I’m great with it and other times incredibly restless. I have found that a book, pen, paper and phone keep me enjoying wait time. When I’m in a contemplative state – waiting becomes mediation.
…but when restlessness is awake and wild uuue, anxiety comes along too.
I also love your suggestion about renewing a old hobby, brilliant!
Aileen recently posted..5 Signs It’s Time To Let Go
Oh Aileen, your comment slipped by me. It’s so good to hear from you.
Seems we writers do have the benefit of filling our wait time with written words. I’m such a list-maker! Fortunately I’ve graduated from sticky-notes to lists on my Blackberry MemoPad….wonder how much more it will hold before it tells me its full!?
I’ve been going through some difficult waiting. I did begin the mandala project I mentioned in the post. It’s coming along nicely…I have three so-far. I’ll share pictures sometime soon.
Take good care~
Jane
Jane recently posted..Wishcasting Wednesday- What Do You Wish for Your Relationships
Thank you for giving us tools for gathering our momentum, and allowing us to process that energy, deciding where our next step will land…:)
star recently posted..pool2
I hate waiting it made me excite into something that is not sure to arrive. Thank you for this advice it will help me alot to control my temper.
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Writing this post reminds me to be more intentional with my time, and that the action is really more useful to me than creating more things to do. Thank you so much for this info.
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yeah! anxiety is just like fat, it is a stored maelstrom of emotion or energy or even anguish. The best way to deal with it is exhaust the energy. Communicate with the person who caused the anxiety, exercise, do something else, or focus on a recreation not your job. great post!! love it!
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I tend to struggle against it for quite a while until I wear myself out and realize I’m wasting my moments on earth. You have great ideas here for helping others, clearing space, and creating something new.
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