When Things Go Wrong: A Guest Post from Manal Ghosain

Last updated on 07/26/2011

My heart expands each time I re-read this very special post from my friend, Manal Ghosain.  It’s a story of overcoming real obstacles, having unbelivable endurance, and coming out on the other side an incredibly strong and inspirational woman. Manal is the creator of  One With Now.  Please make Manal welcome ~

Things will go wrong … when and how, we don’t know.

This is by no means a negative take on life, but rather a reflection on the tougher part of our experiences and how it moves us along the path we’re meant to take.

Today I want to share with you some of the most painful experiences I went through. I hope you find something in here that helps you along your journey.

I truly believe when life hands us lemons, it gives us the recipe to make lemonade as well. We just need to go through the process—graciously accept the lemons, read the recipe instructions and make a mess till we get the lemonade right.

This is what I learned when my world virtually crumbled in a matter of a few years.

What I didn’t expect

In early 1990, after months of preparation and expensive courses and travel costs, I took the CPA exam in Washington State. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life.

My anxiety and fears were running rampant. I thought of failing, bailing out, getting sick, being late—I worried more than I studied.

But not in my wildest dreams did I imagine what actually happened. I made it to the exams, and did the best I could. Now it was a matter of waiting for the results.

Fast forward to August 2, the day my results were to be released. I had so much hope riding on passing those exams. Only I never got the results that day … Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait—the country that was my home at the time.

We went through 7 months of hell. I’d never experienced a war before nor would I wish it on anyone. It is one of the most dehumanizing experiences in life.

It kept getting worse

From that point on I was hammered with things going wrong. I lost my favorite uncle (he was 46). Then came the good news—the allies liberated Kuwait but there was still one big mess of oil wells on fire and no power. I survived living in darkness and breathing oil fumes. But no, it wasn’t over.

I lost the man whom I considered a father figure a few months after the war ended. I was stuck in a country that didn’t want me and I had no other place to go.

The final blow

My life seemed pretty bleak. Then it I suffered another blow–a relationship breakup that made everything else seem mild in comparison. For the first time in my life, I experienced the utter depths of sadness. I lost all hope.

I did pass my exams. I was the youngest in our office and one of the very few who passed all of the parts from the first attempt. By this point, it meant nothing to me.

I became a ghost in my own life. I just floated from day to day.

It didn’t end there

My immigration papers to Canada did not go through. The agent I was working with had a dispute with his partner and dissolved the business. My papers got lost in the shuffle and he failed to let me know.

I started to wonder what awful things I must’ve done to deserve all of this—my attitude didn’t help. I attracted more negativity and dragged myself deeper into despair.

Good thing I didn’t give up.

From the depth of darkness came the brightest light.

A friend helped me with filing a new application to immigrate to Canada, in exchange for accounting services. This time it went through and I was accepted without any complications. This was the start of change.

Through my work at Deloitte & Touche in Kuwait, I managed to get a job with the same firm in Vancouver.

In 1995, I said goodbye to my life as I knew it, to my memories, to the place that I called home and moved to Canada. And here I am.

Something I forgot about

One thing I never thought of until I got to Vancouver. Way back in 1986, while watching TV I saw a news segment about Expo 86 in Vancouver. I paused for a second and gently whispered to myself: I wish I could live there.

Not in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that in 9 years I would move 7,000 miles and live in Vancouver, where I didn’t know a soul.

Coincidently (or not) my brothers moved to Washington State, so they were only a couple of hours car drive from where I lived. I reunited with my brothers after 5 years of separation.

Looking back, I can put things in perspective.

Unknowingly, I set the wheels in motion back in 1986 by wishing I could live in Vancouver—my lemonade. From there the universe helped me find my path.

If it weren’t for those massive lemons I was given, I don’t think I would’ve been able to move away from my loved ones.

And I if I didn’t have my CPA designation and professional experience (my lemonade recipe), I wouldn’t have qualified to immigrate to Canada.

Since then I’ve had more massive lemons thrown at me. With each challenge, I allowed myself to fall, stayed there for a bit, then licked my wounds and got up. From there I was able to pick up the pieces and keep going. And here I am.

This is the first time I put these experiences on paper. And I couldn’t think of a more intimate place than Jane’s Teeny Tiny Pieces to share these words. I found the exercise to be quite cathartic.

If you only take one thing away from what I’ve shared, I hope it is that no matter what life throws at you, it will eventually get better. With every challenge, you grow to be more of who are meant to be.

You have within you what it takes to handle anything. Just pick yourself up and start with one small step in the direction that supports you the most. And know that you are not alone—none of us is, ever. I believe the main reason we evolved on this planet is to support and inspire one another.

I leave you with the words (Don’t Quit) that kept me going when I was in the midst of what I thought was the worst phase of my life. Now I can say it was one of the most transformative. Use them or use your own—just keep going. And when you overcome, wear your scars as a badge of honor, because here you are!

Manal writes about inner peace and living in harmony with the present moment at One With Now. You can also follow her on twitter.