I want to cry. And I feel completely guilty for wanting to cry.
I have food to eat.
I have a very comfortable home.
I have lots of people who love me, and lots of people to love.
I have a plethora of rights.
People are nice to me, and I feel safe.
Still the world right now is exhausting me. I feel agitated and anxious. I want to fix it. I hurt when others hurt. I feel like a tiny spec in the middle of the LA freeway screaming my lungs out, while cars smoke all around me. I feel completely helpless to change anything.
Sometimes I can allow my heart to be pulled in so many different directions that the center bursts … a ball of Silly Putty stretched ’til you can see through the center.
Social responsibility. Family responsibility. Professional responsibility. Financial responsibility. When the list gets too long, I’m afraid my overall performance is mediocre, at best.
Last year I worked with Melissa Meredith to find focus around what is most important to me. Through our conversations and writing, I came up with the 5 things that are most important to me … in no particular order.
- Family
- Adventure
- Art
- Writing
- Spiritual Presence
Over the past year I’ve found that by keeping my focus on these five things clear, my mind, body, and spirit are greater channels for good. I am happier, more balanced, and better able to help others.
“But what about the rest of the world? You just going to abandon it??” I ask myself! “What about the hungry, those who have no rights, those who have no home?” At some point, I have to trust that those are at the very top of someone else’s list. I know it’s true. At some point I have to trust that by taking care of myself, and focusing on MY five most important things, I will be more capable of making a difference in other areas, as well.
So yes, it’s time for me to shield myself with that self-love filter, get back to what’s most important to me, and see what good I can do.
Take special good care, loves …
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